Mr. Data, make it Sew!

Way back when I was in college and most of the monitors were either amber or green text on a plain background (we’re talking windows 3.0 was new and the world wide web wasn’t invented yet), there were Bulletin Board Systems you could sign onto if you had the right phone number for your 4800baud modem. This was one of the first pictures I ever downloaded, and it took probably 30 minutes to get it.

Okay, that was a little off tangent, but true, and leads into what I really came to talk about. Seeing as how this is sort of my “off season” and I won’t be hiking much because:

  1. Heat
  2. Itching and stinging plants
  3. stinging and biting insects
  4. heat
  5. thru-hikers

I have decided to turn my attention to other pursuits that may involve hiking later on. We are going to the beach in a few weeks, and one of the problems with the beach is the sun. It is relentless and hot, and so we take a pop-up tent, of the kind usually reserved for tailgating and the like, and which Myrtle Beach banned because they’d rather you rent their umbrellas. That’s one reason why Florida is better than Myrtle Beach. Also thong bikinis are legal in Florida and not at Myrtle Beach… but that’s off topic again.

Anyhow, the problem with the tent is: The SUN MOVES. It is unfortunate, but whether you’re a round-earther or a flat-earther, the incontrovertible truth is, the Sun moves around quite a bit. Thus you’re all the time having to adjust where you’re sitting under the tent. SO – I decided to make a zip-on set of walls for the tent, which should cover two sides. I’m never out there long enough to need to cover three sides, and if you need to cover FOUR sides, well then you might as well stay inside, right?

As Captain Picard would say: There. Are. Four. Sides!

No Captain, there are only two.

So I’m zipping along sewing my zipper to the tent top and my piece of fabric and thinking, “Jeez it would sure be nice to be making something to hike with!” And I got to thinking about my ultimate project, something that would require all my skills with needle, thread, and construction, and started musing about making my own backpack.

My first backpack was way too large and heavy, see. I got into the whole hiking thing rather uninformed. When I started shopping around for a second one, I almost bought this one: 

The videos made it look really nice, with easy-to-use pockets and all that. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure if I could fit all my crap into it, and I went with the 65 Liter Deuter ACT Lite. It’s a great pack, and it’s taken me on great journeys and has a LOT of life left in it. BUT! It suffers from an issue that the Gregory above looks to have solved.

It appears to have side pockets that are actually useful. See, most backpacks have side pockets, but they’re pretty useless. By the time you fill the pack and put it on, getting a water bottle out and back in becomes a struggle, so you either don’t’ drink enough OR you resort to a bladder, and the side pockets are only used when you stop for some reason. So why have them at all, other than for additional space?

The pack above was only sold for a short while, and it must not have worked out well for Gregory, because it was discontinued. Strange, because I looked up why it was discontinued and saw nothing but positives about it.

So, in addition to side pockets that are actually useful, and plenty of space, what am I seeking from a backpack?

  1. A challenge. I’ve made hammock chairs, hammocks, even a complete hammock and bug net. I made a rain fly (which we will NOT discuss). I’ve yet to try to make clothes other than a rain kilt.
  2. A lighter pack. By making it myself I may be able to shave some weight here and there, by leaving off some things.
  3. A pack that fits my particular set of needs.

What are my particular needs?

  1. Pockets that work, damn it! My Deuter has hip belt pockets that are too small for most anything. Sure you can store a wadded map, a bottle of eye drops and a 2 inch knife in there, but that’s about all. Forget an iphone 6 or a point and shoot camera. As for water bottles, forget that, too. The mesh pockets are nice but they are too far back and too high to be useful for water bottles.
  2. A built in holster. Right now if I carry my gun it’s over my head in the top section. I have to reach way over my head and hope I can get the zipper open and the gun hasn’t shifted all the way to the back. How about a nice space between the padded back and the interior of the pack for a small automatic? pull the zipper down, reach in and there it is.
  3. Built in raincover holder. My first pack had that, a little double layer of fabric on the bottom with a slot for holding the raincover. Pull it out to use it and stuff it back when you’re done. It made life simple.
  4. Tie-Dye. Let’s face it, everything else I make is Tie-Dyed, why shouldn’t my pack be that way? I’m thinking red and black, but a purple and black mix might be nice too.
  5. Expansion and shrinkage areas that really work. On my deuter pack pulling in the side straps to change the shape of the pack don’t really seem to do anything. So whether you are carrying a full load or a light summer load, the pack seems to always be the same shape.
  6. Drain holes under the bladder area. Why has no one thought of this? My pack has a separate sleeve area inside for the water bladder. Its all good until the bladder breaks, then where is the water going? Yeah, into your pack. What about a water bag sleeve area made of water repellant fabric, with a series of narrow slots at the bottom of the pack. If the bladder breaks, sure your ass is wet, but you know it immediately and your sleeping bag stays dry.
  7. Loops, loops everywhere. Deuter had a great series of daisy chains on the ACT pack. They don’t have them on the ACT lite but they have a few paracord loops in strategic places. I’m thinking if they had a few more of those, the pack would be even more useful for holding stuff on the outside. Say, a rainfly that got soaked and you don’t want it inside the pack.

And that’s about all of that for now. Incidentally I priced a few backpack parts like fabric and tubing, and it seems you can buy a pack cheaper than you can buy parts. I guess that’s why all the companies shifted production to Asia: Buying in bulk saves lots of money, and 12 year olds sew pretty cheaply.

Short post…buy my book.

So If you have liked my page and followed me and enjoyed all my time making videos and doing hiker write-ups. Do me a favor: Go buy my book!

Me on AMAZON

This is the dead tree version. If you’d rather have the cheaper Kindle version, that’s great. It’s weird but I make more off the cheaper version, so either one is fine with me.

But you can write in this one and make notes and circle my grammar errors since I didn’t pay the $200 to have Amazon edit the thing for me. But – the book is available. Oh, and they are still building my page, so I had to search for it by ISBNumber.

Either way, enjoy reading about my adventures while I take the summer off. Bug, Heat, and the Sun sucks. See you on the trails in September.

I’m on Amazon! Kindle Version, at least…

For some reason the Amazon store takes forever, but if you want to read me on Kindle, here I am:

Yes, that’s me on the cover. You may recognize the picture if you have been a long term follower of me. That was one of my favorite hikes, the one Uncle Johnny (Of Uncle Johnny’s Nolichucky Hostel, Erwin TN fame) called the most beautiful section of the Appalachian Trail. Its taken from Big Hump Mountain, near Roan High Knob I think, and we spent the night at Doll Flats. I wasn’t prepared to spend most of the day in the sun and wound up a little red, but it was still a gorgeous hike.

I made it free on “Kindle Unlimited” so it won’t cost you anything if you are part of that service, and I turned on the “lend” mode so you can lend to your friends for two weeks. I figured that’s the least I could do, after all with paper versions you can pass them around.

So far it’s only available on Kindle, but they tell me next week some time the “Dead tree” version will be out. I was happy with it when I finished it, but I keep thinking of little things I should have added here and there. Maybe I’ll do a volume 2 a few years from now… Also, the Kindle Store tells me I made a few spelling errors (which Pages didn’t catch while I was writing. Seriously?) so you’ll have to watch out for those. I didn’t pay the $200 for professional design and editing. I’ll only make about 30 cents off each Kindle book, and slightly more than that on each paper one, so I figured $200 was pushing the budget.

But: maybe if they send me a tax form for my income at the end of the year, I can claim some hiking food and a new kilt as a “business expense” and come out negative? So, help a fellow hiker at least get a tax break and buy a copy. I know what my family will be getting for Christmas – autographed copies!

In the meantime I’m pretty much done for the summer for hiking. I might try to squeeze in a day hike here and there. I REALLY wanted to close the Sams Gap to Erwin TN hole that I have left, before fall. When that’s done I’ll have an unbroken line from Davenport Gap NC to Damascus, VA. Otherwise I’m taking a hiking Hiatus while the bugs and plants are at their worst.

I recently had a terrible allergic rash to something. I think I accidentally weed-whacked some poison ivy near the tree line in the back yard, and it played havoc with me for weeks. Three doctor visits and enough antihistamines and prednisone to choke a horse, and it’s mostly gone. I’m really surprised I haven’t contracted it in the woods. Generally when I’m hiking I do a good job of pushing anything green out of the way, with the exception of the odd Stinging Nettles which tend to pop me in the legs. But at least Nettles are over with in around 30 minutes. Poison Ivy (if that’s what it was) goes on forever.

The rash and it’s accompanying itch and general malaise from all the meds made me miss two hiking days. So, now I’m considering other avenues of outdoor expression. Maybe it’s time to consider building that backpack I’ve wanted to design.

It’s finally happened… almost. maybe.

A couple of years ago I started writing a hiking/backpacking book, based on my initial forays into the wilderness. Mainly it was a chance to tell other people “hey, dumbass, don’t do _____”. Most hiking books seem to be full of helpful hints about what you should do, things that the author ¬†found worked for him/her.

I took a different approach, saying “Hey, here’s where I screwed up”, and giving several options that I didn’t know about. I intended on trying to get it published, but that is the part of writing that sucks. It doesn’t take much to write a book.

It takes a lot to find someone to say, “This book isn’t total shit and we might take a chance on you”. Which is why Blogs are so popular… blogs give regular people the opportunity to be authors, even though if you put most blogs in front of publishers, we’d get rejection letters and be sent home to drown our sorrows in alcohol.

BUT – thanks to Amazon and CreateSpace, my hiking book will soon see the light of day. CreateSpace and Kindle seem to be about as big a pain in the butt as anything else. First you have to upload your book, then there are a LOT of preview steps, then you proof your book. I ordered a printed copy and marked it all up with a pen. It’s amazing what you see in print that you gloss over on the screen. The I re-typed it, re-submitted it, and finally, boom, it was done.

For some damn reason though, Kindle is a separate system and you have to re-do a bunch of steps to go from “dead tree version” to “electronic version”. I’m not sure why, but you do.

So, I’m waiting on “How Not to Backpack” to be approved, but once it is, you’ll be able to buy my stuff in the Amazon and Kindle e-store.