People have fallen in love with that Adele “Hello” song, and I struggle to see why. Sure, its a decent song, and she’s got a good voice, but it’s a really weird song. Basically Adele (or whoever wrote it for her) took a drunken 2a.m. text from an ex-girlfriend and turned it into a love song. It reminds me a lot of that “Baby it’s cold outside” Christmas song that seems pretty “rapey” when you really look at the lyrics.
Back in the 80’s I had a radio scanner, which most people used to listen to fire, police, and even airplanes. With a simple modification it got cellular phone frequencies. It was sometimes fun to catch someone’s phone conversation, but often they were one-sided for some reason. I could only hear one person talking, and although they came in clear, the other person couldn’t be heard. I would have to infer the responses of the unheard person by what the one person said. Modern cellular frequencies have changed, so the scanner isn’t much use any more. But:
Since Adele’s song only covers her side of the conversation, you have to use a little imagination and imagine what the responses might be. It’s something my daughter and I like to do with songs on the radio in general. So the other day we’re driving down the road and “Hello” comes on, and we found ourselves holding a conversation with Adele. A conversation that seemed really appropriate for the lyrics of the song, if not for the music and the way she sings it.
A Conversation with Adele:
Hello, it’s me
Yeah? What do you want?
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
Not really, why drag up all that old crap?
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing
That’s not really my concern any more
Hello, can you hear me
Barely. You must still be on Verizon
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
Look, I’ve moved on.
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
That’s all over with now.
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles
That’s why we broke up, that and you’re a cheating whore
Hello from the other side
Please stay over there.
I must have called a thousand times
470. My lawyer made me keep a log of them.
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
Thank you but please stop calling.
But when I call you never seem to be home
It’s called CallerID. You’re the reason I have it.
Hello from the outside
Seriously? Get off my property. My girlfriend’s calling the police
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
Too little, too late. Have you been drinking again?
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore
Just let it go, please? I’m getting married in six months.
Hello, how are you?
I’m fine. Please, find another boyfriend.
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself I’m sorry
It’s just the Tequila talking, you were always a sloppy drunk.
I hope that you’re well
Yes. I’m fine.
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened
I’m not giving you my address, there’s a restraining order on you.
It’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
What? What the Hell are you saying? Is that a threat?