I love this time of year. Facebook becomes pure comedy gold when winter weather is approaching.
You see, I live in the south, and the presence of even the slightest amount of snow, ice, sleet, or freezing rain causes utter panic and dismay in the populace, especially in the segment of the populace that for the most part has to have someone else dictate their every move for them.
“Oh my God! It’s going to snow. What do I do? Will the Government bring me food? Will the government provide shelter for me? Will someone tell me what I’m supposed to do and where to go?”
I blame the helicopter parents of the previous generation, because for the most part these people seem to expect someone to show up at their doorstep with an instruction manual whenever anything outside the norm happens. It happened to a friend of mine’s wife. Foot of snow on the ground, and the power goes out. She’s freaking out. “All the food is going to spoil in the fridge!” He thought for a minute and said, “Look, there’s a foot of snow on the ground. Take the food outside and bury it in the snow.”
You would have thought he was Einstein, to hear her talk.
So, when there’s the slightest chance that it might snow, sleet, ice, or have freezing rain, people take to Facebook to express their concerns, ask questions, or sometimes just to show the world that they are complete morons. The best thing about Social Media is that anyone can make their voice heard. The worst thing about Social Media is that ANYONE can have their voice heard.
Every time bad weather (of the winter sort) is predicted, people flood school district pages, often with “You should do X”. They blast the school officials for not making decisions soon enough. They blast them for making decisions too soon. No matter the decision, its going to be wrong to half the people. You can boil most of the posts down to a few categories:
Typical Facebook “Winter Weather” posts:
1. Close the school! (Posted by students often using such horrid grammar and spelling that it is very obvious that the school district should do everything possible to stay open)
2. They won’t close the school because they don’t care about MY child! (Typically posted by helicopter parents who blame everything on the school and nothing their child does is ever wrong)
3. They better not close the school because I have to work! (Typically posted by parents that see the school as a free government supported babysitting service)
4. The school was closed and nothing happened! (Typically posted by people who probably don’t have a meteorology degree and find nothing wrong with criticizing people after the fact)
5. The school wasn’t closed and it snowed so I had to get off work and get my child! (Combination of 4, and 3)
6. You should do _______ (typically posted by those who want it done their way and think they know better what should be done)
7. Y’all should have ______ (posted by people that, whatever the decision, disagreed with it)
Throw in a lot of people with Facebook Meteorology Degrees* and you get things like:
“You should close the school. It’s going to start bad and get worse!”
Really? Because the Weather Channel says maybe a little freezing rain first thing in the morning, and then 40 degrees with regular rain, so anything frozen will melt.
“No one will be able to drive on these bad roads!”
It was 45 degrees today. They’re forecasting a tenth of an inch of freezing rain. Thats barely past the first little line on the ruler. The roads will NOT be impassable. It takes a few days of near or below freezing weather to make the roads cold enough for a tenth of an inch of rain to stick. Your trees may be glazed over, the grass will be icy, your windshield may need a little extra defrost time, but this is not the Great Blizzard of 1978. The roads will be fine.
Thankfully, a few people have a brain, can think for themselves, and realize the school districts do the best they can with difficult situations.
* Facebook apparently offers many different degree programs. The Meteorology Degree is a lesser known program. A much more popular program is the Facebook Law Degree.
People with Facebook Law Degrees apparently have many options. The most popular being Criminal Law, since so many people know exactly how to get out of tickets, how some people shouldn’t be allowed bail, how “justice” should be served, and how to get away with committing various crimes. The second most popular form of Facebook Law Degree is Business Law. Especially with Crafting Moms who start their own Etsy Businesses. Because every states has the EXACT same business laws, it’s easy for a crafty mom with a Facebook Business Law Degree to tell every other Crafty Mom how to run her business, 1800 miles away.
Finally there is the Facebook Criminal Justice Degree – apparently everyone on Facebook knows a whole lot more about how to be a police officer than real police officers. Why spend 8, 12, or 24 weeks at a Police Academy, when you can get a Facebook Criminal Justice Degree in only days?