Back in the box, Jesus, the Holiday Season is over.

Well – That’s it I guess. The Season of Greed is coming to an end. I for one am glad to see it go.

The constant barrage of ads is slowing down. Sure, there are always commercials, but their focus changes. During the Holiday Season they want you to “not forget anyone” and “make sure you have the PERFECT gift!”, as if someone will think less of you for getting a slightly IMPERFECT gift. If you do it right, you just tell them EXACTLY what you want. Heck put it on your Amazon wish list. And speaking of that, Now we don’t have to feel like dirtbags because we don’t pick our christmas gifts from the small array of local stores. Avoiding limited selections and bad customer service is easy and trouble free now that the entire world is at our hands with a few google searches. Can you see how that would go if everyone always shopped locally?

“Hey Theo, I got your present in the mail today.”
“Did you open it?”, I say.
“Well, its a $50 gift certificate for a one hour massage at Crazy Dora’s House of Oil and Wax, in your town there in South Carolina”, he says.
“I thought you would like it! Have Katrina do yours, she gives happy endings.”
“I live in California!” he says, incredulously.
“Yeah, but I Shop Small, Shop Local!”

The extra decorations are coming down. Good bye tree! Once it’s stripped to the bare branches, I can shove it unceremoniously out the front door, and drag it down the hill to the wood pile where it can rot away and become one with the earth. The ultimate recycling. The only thing I will miss is the icicle lights around the roof line. I like the extra lights on the house. Maybe I should get some in a few different colors – Red for Valentines day, Green for St. Patricks day, Red/White/Blue for the fourth of July. That would be festive and fun, yet still provide additional lighting in case someone is going to try and skulk around and take the stuff I just got for christmas.

No more constant barrage of “Oh no there’s a Nativity Scene in front of a Government Building!” from this Facebook group I belong to. They firmly believe in the separation of church and state, but sometimes I think they need to pick their battles a little more wisely. Having school kids attend a school function that is essentially a sermon, complete with prayer and bible verses? That’s Bad. A small town dragging out the Christmas decorations they’ve put up for the last 85 years? I don’t have a problem with that. Pick your battles, people… Same goes the other way of course. Despite what Fox News tells people, there is no “War on Christmas”. People that spaz out when  you wish them “Happy Holidays” really get on my nerves. Just be glad someone’s being nice to you and hoping you have a good “whatever you celebrate day”, and say “You too!”. And no more Facebook people saying “I’ll pray for you” when I say something like I just did. “I’ll pray for you” is generally southern for, “You Suck, I’m right and you aren’t!” Much like “Bless her heart” really means “Fuck that Bitch”.

There’s always a Christmas let-down after the holidays are over. After weeks of having to go and do and buy-buy-buy, there’s a feeling of “What do we do now?” after the holidays are all done. Its time to get back in the normal routine, and try and enjoy the things you received and work off those holiday pounds. I know I have to – I have a 20 mile hike coming up very soon, and all I did for three days was lie not he couch and play video games.

When I was young, my parents always used to have me spread my gifts out like a Price is Right display for when the other relatives came over. When you’re very small, it feels fun, showing off your stuff. When you are a bit older, it starts to feel like bragging, and you hope it doesn’t come off that way. There’s a lot of that going around on the internet, especially around my hiking groups on Facebook. They are showing off packs and books and other hiking-related things. I don’t feel like they are bragging, they are happy they are going to get to go on hikes, and I feel glad for them.

Some of the stuff I got this year:

Some clothes (I love clothes, it means I don’t have to go shop for them), including a pullover shirt, some Darn Tough socks, and these shirts:

Screen Shot 2014-12-28 at 11.34.13 AM

Not me – I stole the pic from Amazon. Now people will know I Believe! And, for the OTHER non-believers out there, I have to spread the Word about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. (May you be touched by His noodly appendage, He boiled for your sins.)

Screen Shot 2014-12-28 at 11.33.30 AM

And of course this last one, from Life is Good. It’s long sleeved, so I have to wear it soon. Unfortunately I can find it right now, I really don’t know what I did with it.

Mens-Crusher-Long-Sleeve-Location_26701_2_lgI also got a few books, and some new squishy bowls to take hiking, some CASH (which is always nice, particularly when you are getting the bill for your recent Disney trip and your early Christmas purchases), and some REI gift cards. It’s funny, the more I looked around for a slightly smaller yet much lighter pack, the more I came back to the same brand I’m currently using. I looked at several types and brands, yet I’m right back to Deuter for comfort, weight, size, and adjustability. So, hopefully I can order something from them sooner or later through REI. I think I have one final gift card on the way…and I don’t want to spend money early (although I can always use an REI gift card!)

So, it’s back to work on Monday, for most of us. Not looking forward to that, just because having five days off makes you really appreciate not having to work. It gives you a little glimpse into the lives of teachers, who get the whole summer off and still get paid. But, at least there’s the post Holiday Season celebratory party otherwise known as “New Year’s Eve”. That, for one, I can look forward to. Now, I just need to find the right color lights to put up around the house.



Author: theosus1

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