You know you’re thinking about hiking when…

I was reading a Facebook post on one of the hiking groups I belong too just a little bit ago. I don’t frequent the message boards like I used to, it seems Facebook has some pretty good hiking groups, and the information flows much faster. However, the problem there is, you lose a lot if you don’t keep track of it every day. It also get repetitive pretty quickly. I must have taken part in about 30 “Hey what’s the best stove?” discussions.

The post that caught my eye was:

“So you know you’re thinking about hiking when you’re saving dryer lint for fire starters”. And I thought, Wow, she’s right

I DO save dryer lint for starting fires. It’s one of the stranger things hikers might do, but there are a host of things we do that might seem odd to people.

Dryer lint makes a GREAT fire starter. If you have a fireplace, go grab some lint, open the flue, and light the lint in the fireplace. It burns up REALLY well. Which goes to show you, clean your dryer vents once a year! That stuff burns great. But, it’s gone in a flash, so you can slow it down by putting in a form (like a cardboard egg crate or cupcake tin with a paper liner), and pouring some wax over it. I use the spent scented wax cubes from the little ceramic things with the light bulbs in it.

So, you wind up with a hairy wax blob in a paper wrapper, that smells vaguely like blueberry cheesecake or pumpkin spice. That, and a jar of nasty looking fur on top of the dryer.Screen Shot 2014-12-31 at 9.10.35 PM

We do other weird stuff, too. I have a shelf in the closet dedicated to hiking food. There are little bowls of Idahoan potatoes in various flavors, boxes of Special K protein bars, Nutri Grain bars (the apple cinnamon ones are Da Bomb!), and little drug-dealer sized ziplock bags with single servings of instant coffee, teas, chai latte, and cappuccino. Then there are the meals I thought I would eat, but haven’t brought myself to eat yet, like the Mountain House New Orleans Style Shrimp and Rice. I can’t remember buying it, but evidently it was prepared REALLY well, since it expires in April of 2019. Maybe I’ll get around to eating it before then. Mountain house meals are BIG, so I need a food-partner before tying into that one. But that’s my HIKING food. It’s like a secret stash that everyone else knows not to touch. Some people hide liquor or sweets from their family members, I have dried potatoes and instant grits.

I buy more lithium batteries than Walter White.

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Im sure I’m on a list somewhere, because they think I’m making meth. But no, lithium batteries work great in my GPS, almost twice as long as regular batteries. AND they weigh about half as much, so you can carry more of them on a hike. AA batteries are a standard grocery list item at my house. Bread, Milk, Lithium AA batteries.

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There’s the special clothes and crap drawer…

My limited clothes space has been hijacked by my “hiking crap” drawer. In the drawer go my sock liners (who knew there were such a thing? They are just thin polyester white socks that go inside your normal hiking socks), and my Ex Officio underwear. One pair of underwear for $20? They better be paying those sweat shop kids in Thailand pretty well.

You can also find my hiking hood, which is just like the hood part of a hoodie, with a drawstring to close up the face hole, and a long neck. Great for winter, but a little weird looking. I got it to replace the ax murder/rapist ski mask with the three holes for mouth/eyes. Movies have ruined the Ski Mask for any legitimate use. I can’t even use one when I go skiing… people flee in terror. But I have to know where my hiking clothes are. I don’t want to be looking at the last minute for something like a sock liner or a polyester shirt or my hood thing, it need to be where I can get it on a friday evening.

Also you’ll find my extra stove parts, two or three half-used canisters of propane fuel, a windscreen for the stove, the empty drug-dealer sized ziplock bags, and various lengths and diameters of paracord.

Hikers buy cord by the pound. Paracord is popular, but there’s also Amsteel, zing it, whoopee slings, and a few other favorite brands in various diameters, for all sorts of uses. But add the coils of paracord to the ski mask (and the giant Bear Grylls knife I thought I would need when I got into this, but never take with me), and it looks like Ted Bundy stays at my house sometimes.

Of course, the closer it gets to time to go on a hike, the more the stuff spreads out.

Its a lot like packing for a cruise or a trip to Disney World. The backpack comes out, and all the weird collections of things are packed away in their little bags, and jammed in the pack in certain ways. It looks a bit haphazard to the uninitiated, but for the hiker thats been doing it for a little while, a pattern forms.

My raincoat and fuel bottle for the stove are always on the left. My water bottle and filter stuff on my right. Snacks in the pack’s brain. Hygiene kit just inside the brain (because when you’ve got to take a dump in the woods, you don’t want to be searching for the equipment), food bag on top of everything, and tent/sleeping bags and such at the bottom.

The question was posed to me yesterday, “Do you take a gun?” I told my friend “not usually when I go with a group”.

“Oh, so they have guns?”

“No, no one has a gun. When there’s ten of you, you’re pretty much okay. If I was alone, or with one or two people, I’d take a gun”.

Why not take a gun? I like guns. Guns come in handy for doing the things that guns can do. But guns have a disadvantage. They’re heavy. And that’s another thing backpackers obsess over. Weight.

Much like a supermodel right before bikini season, hikers obsess over weight. Not their own, really, although for some that’s a major deal, but the weight of the various STUFF in the pack, as well as the pack itself. Hikers often have scales at home that weigh things to the gram. They’re known to cut the handles off their poop-hole-digging trowel, not only to save room and make it fit in the damn bag, but to save the half ounce that the plastic handle weighs.

People will sell or replace perfectly good stuff, and pay twice as much, just to save a few ounces or a pound here and there. A conversation among hiking buddies may go something a little like this:

“Hey nice sleeping bag. What happened to that orange thing you had last season?”

“Oh I had to get rid of it, it just weighed too much. I paid $200 for it. It was a 20 degree bag, and weighed 32 ounces.”

“What’s that one?”

“Oh this is the new ultra down, with nano fiber micro baffles, and 10D taffeta nylon semi permeable oxy-resistant coating. Cost me $500.”

“Whats it weigh?”

“This one weighs 28 ounces.”

“Wow, four ounces lighter, huh?”

“Yeah”

“Good find. I need to get one of those, I bought it last month, and it weighs 30 ounces.”

And thus the weight wars continue. Take my hammock tarp:

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Very respectable. Nice, big tarp, keeps me dry. A little heavy at a pound and a half, but at 80 bucks, its a good tarp. BUT – check this one out:

Screen Shot 2014-12-31 at 9.56.32 PM5.3 ounces! FIVE ounces. Same tarp, less than 1/4 the weight. three times the price, of course, but 1/4 the weight. And thats if I don’t cut off the two side pull-out loops that I don’t use any way.

See, thats another thing hikers do – lets pay $235 for a tarp, and pick out the bits we can make lighter, before we even use it.

Cuben fiber is sort of the newest thing in hiking gear, its not really a woven fabric like you think, but a series of threads just going perpendicular to each other, held in place by being bonded to a plastic membrane. Its sort of a giant version of that irritating scotch tape with the fiberglass threads in it, that you can’t break, you HAVE to get a knife out to cut it.

So – those are a few weird things hikers do. If you know of any more, feel free to comment!

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Back in the box, Jesus, the Holiday Season is over.

Well – That’s it I guess. The Season of Greed is coming to an end. I for one am glad to see it go.

The constant barrage of ads is slowing down. Sure, there are always commercials, but their focus changes. During the Holiday Season they want you to “not forget anyone” and “make sure you have the PERFECT gift!”, as if someone will think less of you for getting a slightly IMPERFECT gift. If you do it right, you just tell them EXACTLY what you want. Heck put it on your Amazon wish list. And speaking of that, Now we don’t have to feel like dirtbags because we don’t pick our christmas gifts from the small array of local stores. Avoiding limited selections and bad customer service is easy and trouble free now that the entire world is at our hands with a few google searches. Can you see how that would go if everyone always shopped locally?

“Hey Theo, I got your present in the mail today.”
“Did you open it?”, I say.
“Well, its a $50 gift certificate for a one hour massage at Crazy Dora’s House of Oil and Wax, in your town there in South Carolina”, he says.
“I thought you would like it! Have Katrina do yours, she gives happy endings.”
“I live in California!” he says, incredulously.
“Yeah, but I Shop Small, Shop Local!”

The extra decorations are coming down. Good bye tree! Once it’s stripped to the bare branches, I can shove it unceremoniously out the front door, and drag it down the hill to the wood pile where it can rot away and become one with the earth. The ultimate recycling. The only thing I will miss is the icicle lights around the roof line. I like the extra lights on the house. Maybe I should get some in a few different colors – Red for Valentines day, Green for St. Patricks day, Red/White/Blue for the fourth of July. That would be festive and fun, yet still provide additional lighting in case someone is going to try and skulk around and take the stuff I just got for christmas.

No more constant barrage of “Oh no there’s a Nativity Scene in front of a Government Building!” from this Facebook group I belong to. They firmly believe in the separation of church and state, but sometimes I think they need to pick their battles a little more wisely. Having school kids attend a school function that is essentially a sermon, complete with prayer and bible verses? That’s Bad. A small town dragging out the Christmas decorations they’ve put up for the last 85 years? I don’t have a problem with that. Pick your battles, people… Same goes the other way of course. Despite what Fox News tells people, there is no “War on Christmas”. People that spaz out when  you wish them “Happy Holidays” really get on my nerves. Just be glad someone’s being nice to you and hoping you have a good “whatever you celebrate day”, and say “You too!”. And no more Facebook people saying “I’ll pray for you” when I say something like I just did. “I’ll pray for you” is generally southern for, “You Suck, I’m right and you aren’t!” Much like “Bless her heart” really means “Fuck that Bitch”.

There’s always a Christmas let-down after the holidays are over. After weeks of having to go and do and buy-buy-buy, there’s a feeling of “What do we do now?” after the holidays are all done. Its time to get back in the normal routine, and try and enjoy the things you received and work off those holiday pounds. I know I have to – I have a 20 mile hike coming up very soon, and all I did for three days was lie not he couch and play video games.

When I was young, my parents always used to have me spread my gifts out like a Price is Right display for when the other relatives came over. When you’re very small, it feels fun, showing off your stuff. When you are a bit older, it starts to feel like bragging, and you hope it doesn’t come off that way. There’s a lot of that going around on the internet, especially around my hiking groups on Facebook. They are showing off packs and books and other hiking-related things. I don’t feel like they are bragging, they are happy they are going to get to go on hikes, and I feel glad for them.

Some of the stuff I got this year:

Some clothes (I love clothes, it means I don’t have to go shop for them), including a pullover shirt, some Darn Tough socks, and these shirts:

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Not me – I stole the pic from Amazon. Now people will know I Believe! And, for the OTHER non-believers out there, I have to spread the Word about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. (May you be touched by His noodly appendage, He boiled for your sins.)

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And of course this last one, from Life is Good. It’s long sleeved, so I have to wear it soon. Unfortunately I can find it right now, I really don’t know what I did with it.

Mens-Crusher-Long-Sleeve-Location_26701_2_lgI also got a few books, and some new squishy bowls to take hiking, some CASH (which is always nice, particularly when you are getting the bill for your recent Disney trip and your early Christmas purchases), and some REI gift cards. It’s funny, the more I looked around for a slightly smaller yet much lighter pack, the more I came back to the same brand I’m currently using. I looked at several types and brands, yet I’m right back to Deuter for comfort, weight, size, and adjustability. So, hopefully I can order something from them sooner or later through REI. I think I have one final gift card on the way…and I don’t want to spend money early (although I can always use an REI gift card!)

So, it’s back to work on Monday, for most of us. Not looking forward to that, just because having five days off makes you really appreciate not having to work. It gives you a little glimpse into the lives of teachers, who get the whole summer off and still get paid. But, at least there’s the post Holiday Season celebratory party otherwise known as “New Year’s Eve”. That, for one, I can look forward to. Now, I just need to find the right color lights to put up around the house.

 

Shop local, shop small, or Die Heathen Scum!

It’s that time of year again – time to listen for the tell tale sounds of the jolly old man as his voice carries across the new fallen snow, time to race to the window and throw up the sash.

I’m not sure what Sash is, but I told my wife not to make any of it for Christmas Dinner, because everyone is always throwing it up.

And no, I’m not talking about the arrival of the obese elf in a red suit, I’m talking about the arrival of that other guy bearing gifts, the UPS man. Or FedEx… whatever you like to use.

So I was in a local pharmacy the other day, spending my hard earned money locally, buying local pills from someone who shipped them presumably from a manufacturer out of state, when in walked another local business owner. We made small talk in line, and I asked her a seasonally appropriate question:

“So, have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?” And she laughed and said no and asked the the same question.

“I’m pretty much done with the shopping part, I’m just waiting for the UPS guy to do his job and bring them”, and I laughed a hearty laugh, and realized she wasn’t laughing at all. In fact, she looked positively ready to explode. Her eyes bugged out and the color drained from her face, and her lips were pressed so firmly together, she began to resemble one of those large grey alien creatures always described by hillbillies who report being anal probed, except with a typical bouffant popular with southern ladies.

Screen Shot 2014-12-16 at 7.02.53 PMShe finally spat in my general direction through those thin, fading lips, “You’re not SUPPORTING your LOCAL community.”

I looked at her in surprise and shock. After all, she shops out of town, even our gift ornaments from the last several years have come from the white house, and looking around, I don’t see any Presidents around to purchase those from. I tried to reason with her. After all, there are none of the places in town that I bought gifts from. No REI store. No Shutterfly. No Ann Taylor Loft. No North Face Outlet. Zip, zero, zilch.

I really got the impression from her that I should be picking my gifts from a list of available local shops, instead of actually getting people the things they want and need.

The drug store I was in, for example. They don’t just sell prescriptions. A lot of the floor space is taken up by what my father would call “dust collectors”, little ceramic pieces of kitsch and framed antiqued-looking signs with sayings like “home is where you go and they have to let you in”. Yep, I’m sure people I know would enjoy that. Evidently it’s a booming business, because they usually ignore the sick people wanting their meds so they can dust the kitsch and refill the drink machines.

The bookstore next door to the drug store is another example. I usually don’t go there, because it seems half the store is taken up by bibles and religious stuff, with a few shelves of fiction that people actually want to read, and some “local interest” things, and the other half of the store is greeting cards and kid’s books. I asked them several times if they had things, and they always say “We can order that for you”.

Order that for me? I go in a bookstore to buy a book now. If I wanted to order it, I would go on Amazon. And they censor their stuff. A friend of mine went in to buy a few things, and they refused to order it because it offended their delicate religious sensitivities. I’m sorry, but when you’re in the book selling business and someone orders “the story of O”, you sell them the book. That’s like the pharmacist refusing to sell the Plan B pill (or as the popular girls refer to it, Plan A). It’s not his job to dispense morality, if it was, he’d refuse to sell Adderal and Ritalin to “parents” who didn’t realize controlling a kid can sometimes be hard work, and instead just want to zombify the little bastards so they don’t bother them during Big Brother.

And that’s about it for truly local stores. Most of the rest of my available shopping choices are big-box retailers like WalMart (all hail the land of the first-of-the-month pajama people!), Belk (a southern clothing store), and other national chains.

Sure, I know that by shopping Belk or WalMart (hail to thee) or Hibbet Sports or Piggly Wiggly, I’m keeping the employees in a job. But don’t act like that money stays in town. WalMart’s profits go back to Arkansas, with a few cents a day going to the child slaves laborers in Vietnam for making and packing the stuff. Belk – who knows where Belk’s profits go, but I suspect it is some of the same thing.

Look, I buy 90% of the stuff I want in town. I don’t want for much. Food for the family, and gas for the car. Most of our entertainment and whatnot comes from cable and video games and movies, all piped into our house by the wonders of cable. But I’m not limiting my winter-solstice-shopping experience to shoes, women’s dresses, wines, and religious books.

So happy holidays to you, and enjoy your shopping whenever and wherever you want to do it.

Just please, please: If you REALLY want to shop in your pajamas, do it from home, okay? Wal-Mart has a web site now.

 

Bear Bagging for dummies.

Ok I have been working some evening shifts at work, which means I have a lot of time around the house staring at the walls and doing nothing. The den has been taken over by present-wrapping central, so thanks to the fact that everything doesn’t get here at once from Amazon and various other companies, from the Friday after Thanksgiving up until around three or four days before X-Mass – the place looks like it would be right at home on an episode of hoarders.

And don’t give me crap about “shopping locally”. If there was an REI or Ann Taylor Loft downtown, we would go there. Plus – the UPS and FedEx people come six or seven times between Thanksgiving and christmas. Its like Santa coming again and again!

So, I’m puttering around the house in my underwear at noon, and remember my prior commitment to making a bear bag video. You may or may not have seen my last bear bag video… I apologize it was on youtube, but that’s where I was putting my stuff before I found out the Vimeo is SO much better. So, if you haven’t seen it, forget it. It never happened.

I switched to the UrSack, because I got tired of several problems with “normal” bear bag hanging. I also didn’t want to switch to a bear canister, because they are heavy and rigid and take up a crap-ton of space in the backpack. So – I made a NEW video (on Vimeo, Yay!) where I compare and contrast the old system. It is meant to be a parody… I didn’t really almost hit myself in the head or get the bag stuck.

It’s not the best acting, but hey, it beats a Kevin Bacon movie:

Hope you enjoy it. I’m not connected with the company in any way, but after hiking with several people who use the UrSack, I convinced myself that it was the way to go if I intend to stick with taking these jaunts into the woods. While I’m wandering around looking for 4″ limbs 20-25 feet off the ground and untangling my rope, they’re making two knots and settling down for the evening.

The Bear Bag thing came up in Facebook again today. Someone asked whether or not Bear Canisters were a good idea, which prompted a lively discussion. In the same group, someone asked for advice on research on how to hike the Appalachian Trail.

This question prompted the best response ever:

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Don’t squash my sack.

Okay so I got my URSACK. I will post a video of it at some upcoming date and time, when:

1. I have time.

2. The weather doesn’t suck major ass.

It’s South Carolina in December, so that means it’s either warm and sunny (when I’m busy at work and can’t have any time to do anything), or it’s cold and/or raining (when I’m off and should be raking leaves or splitting wood or hanging xmass lights or making URSACK videos).

In case you are new to my realm, Welcome!

As reviewed before – the URSACK is sort of a bullet-proof vest made into a bag too tough for bears to get into. Yeah, sounds silly, right? A cloth sack that a bear can’t tear up?

Yet, it works, they’ve done tests with real food and real bears, and they can’t get the sacks open, especially when used correctly. Bears have powerful jaws and lots of teeth, but their teeth are dull. Sure, they work fine at crushing the throat of an elk and tearing flesh from bones, but when pitted against man’s toughest fibers, they just don’t have the sharpness to get through. And evidently their claws aren’t good enough either.

So – I retired my old bear bag, rope, and carabiner, which weighed a few ounces. Now I have this super bag that weighs half a pound, so I lost a little bit in the battle against  weight loss. But – I’ll accept the loss when it means I don’t have to dig a sooty rock out of the fire pit, look around for twenty minutes at dusk to find a good branch, and then try and throw a rock over it.

The only problem I see is it’s white. REALLY white. Like whiter than Rush Limbaugh white. The thing is made from aramid fibers or something, which come out white and don’t accept dye, so they come in one color only. It will show up in the woods a mile away. I might have to make a cover for it.

From their web site (with the optional aluminum liner – which I didn’t buy because, hello, metal is heavy). I’m really looking forward to trying this thing out.

Big2

Thanksgiving at Disney World – or “I’m Thankful I didn’t Die on I-95”

A few years ago we decided Thanksgiving at Disney World would be a good idea. After all, what better way to give thanks than to avoid cooking, cleaning, feeding people, having people fight over where we were to be and when, maybe having people over to our house, Spending $45 on peanut oil to fry two turkeys, and then having to clean up AGAIN when everyone leaves. Then, the next day, I have to suffer through traffic and the anxiety that goes with after-dinner shopping. Why the Hell can’t the people I know join the present, and shop online? No, they have to spend every weekend between turkey day and the Winter Solstice Holiday in a damn mall somewhere.

Screw. That.

If you want a turkey dinner, go to Bi-Lo and get your own bird. I’d rather let someone else do the cooking and the cleaning and just relax and do something different. So, we went to Disney World because my wife always wanted to see the decorations. A good time was had by all, therefore we decided to repeat the event.

There were a few differences this time.

Last time, the economy was just a hair away from teetering over the edge. Gas was expensive, people were losing their jobs left and right, and the idea of blowing a thousand or two over the holiday to ride a roller coaster and see a guy in a mouse suit wasn’t a priority. So, the interstates weren’t so bad, and the crowds were smaller than we expected.

Since then, the government has falsely propped up the economy by printing billions (and I suspect the Bitcoin scam has something to do with it), gas is cheaper because the arabs and the oil companies figured out if they gouge us too much, we may finally push to develop cheap, clean energy and they’ll be out of business, and evidently it was half-price ticket time for the latinos. I’m used to the Brazilian Tour Groups (The Scourge of any Disney Facebook group!) but the crowd of native Spanish-speaking people was unbelievable. I felt like a minority of some sort.

The first indication we may be in for began about an hour into our trip. We left after school, intending on arriving at the House of Mouse around 11:30. The trip to Georgia normally takes about two hours. After coming to a complete stop twice on the interstate, we finally got off I-95 and drove through such hamlets and Hardeeville and Ridgeland. Unfortunately there’s no easy way to Savannah from SC, so we had to brave I-95 again for a few miles.

People from the north talk about hating the Carolinas on the trip to Disney, and I can see why. North Carolina is a LONG way across, and since you follow the coast, South Carolina isn’t much better. Plus, I-95 is TWO lanes all the way through, and somewhere about 60 miles from the border with Georgia, I-26 joins up, so you have northerners from two directions coming in, all trying to go south. The last few miles into Georgia you slow to a crawl, and then it opens up into three lanes, and normally that goes well. Nope. I’ve never seen so many back roads in different places before. It is pretty bad when you spend time looking for country roads so you can go faster.

We finally made it to Disney World at 2:30 in the morning, 3 hours behind schedule. Normally we like getting there near midnight. There’s no one there, and you can whisk through check in. This time? A “Magical Distress” (Magical Express) airport bus dropped off a load as we arrived, so the lone employee had thirty of us to deal with. There’s nothing quite like a ten hour car drive, followed by people that ask stupid questions like “how does the dining plan work?” as kids scream in line.

So, off to bed, early to rise. Disney has automated the A/C systems in their hotels, if you aren’t moving they shut off, or so it seems. I would turn the fan on, to drown out random hotel noises and help me sleep. It would run for 30 minutes, and then switch off. Damn it, if I’m paying for the room, let me control the air. So three times I wake up to shut the fan back on.

Up at 8, we’re off to Hollywood Studios for our first day. We wander through the day feeling hung-over and exhausted, and then back to the room for an early bedtime.

The next day, we get up and hit the Magic Kingdom. By this time I’m still exhausted, and after a few incidents with confusion and misdirection, plus some miscommunication between my wife and daughter, I’m ready to go home. I’d rather be at a shopping mall at this point, suffering through the endless trying on of jeans and ties, than at this crowded, noisy, pushing, shoving, anxiety-ridden introvert’s nightmare. Somehow I get through it without swearing at anyone, and it’s off to the hotel room for more blissful sleep.

Thankfully it gets better over the next two days, and we are able to enjoy all the things we came to do, including the Osborne Lights (xmass lights programmed to dance to music and turn on and off to the songs. really cool), the Lighting of Cinderella Castle (Elsa was supposed to ‘freeze’ the castle, but she was in the bathroom Letting it Go), and the Wishes fireworks display. We also checked out most of the Hotels’ gingerbread houses, they do some pretty nice stuff for “the Holidays”.

We only had to ride one bus back and forth to Downtown Disney, and of course we wound up on the one with scooters. I’m not sure if our planning failed, or what, but it felt like we spent a lot more time in the car than normal. We did figure out a way to use the monorails to our advantage and leave the car at one point, but we almost missed the final tram that evening, which would have led us to a LONG walk.

Sunday morning we had a quick breakfast (Mickey Waffles!) and headed out of town. All seemed fine until about forty-five minutes into the trip when everyone stopped on I-4. Two idiots ran into each other right in front of us, blocking one lane, so it took forever to get by. We saw 8 wrecks on the way home, and several ALMOST wrecks where we all had to stop quickly, and cars were flying off into the median to avoid rear-ending the guys in front of them.

One wreck was really funny, though. This guy in a white SUV almost hit someone, and I said, “That guy is going to crash into something if he doesn’t slow down”. There was a wreck, so we got off the interstate, went around it, and got right back on. ten minutes later we come to another wreck. Guess who’s car was all bashed to pieces? Yep, crazy SUV guy.

We finally get back to South Carolina, and creep along for miles until we can escape I-95. Thanks to side roads we drive along until we hit I-26, and go around the crowd, and for the rest of the ride home, there’s a small crowd, but nothing terrible. In the end, I can say that other than the car ride, we enjoyed ourselves more than not.

But I think next year I’m going for a hike, and I’ll just take a turkey sandwich.

 

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On the bus to Magic Kingdom - because the monorail lines were so long they put us on a cruise line bus.
On the bus to Magic Kingdom – because the monorail lines were so long they put us on a cruise line bus.

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Osborne Lights.
Osborne Lights.

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Angie bows to the god of High Fructose Corn Syrup
Angie bows to the god of High Fructose Corn Syrup

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My drawing from Hollywood Studios art class.
My drawing from Hollywood Studios art class.

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Tower of Terror lobby - they need to clean up.
Tower of Terror lobby – they need to clean up.
Kaylee in her natural state.
Kaylee in her natural state.
The Friendly Express - one of many wonders of the South Caorlina back roads.
The Friendly Express – one of many wonders of the South Caorlina back roads.
Gingerbread Frozen Outpost at Yacht Club
Gingerbread Frozen Outpost at Yacht Club

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Angie enjoys the Osborne lights.
Angie enjoys the Osborne lights.
Main street - Hollywood Studios.
Main street – Hollywood Studios.

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The "Frozen" Castle
The “Frozen” Castle
Castle at night (duh)
Castle at night (duh)
Mouse made of grass
Mouse made of grass
Prince Charming's castle at dusk
Prince Charming’s castle at dusk
Broken People Mover
Broken People Mover
Spaaaaace mountain
Spaaaaace mountain
Ariel's castle at sunset
Ariel’s castle at sunset
Prince Charming's castle at sunset
Prince Charming’s castle at sunset

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Popcorn sutton's moonshine still
Popcorn sutton’s moonshine still

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Snow White and Random people's kids.
Snow White and Random people’s kids.

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Parrots loose in Animal Kingdom
Parrots loose in Animal Kingdom
Another big tree...
Another big tree…
Eau de France
Eau de France
Ich Bin en Deutschland!
Ich Bin en Deutschland!
Sunset over the pond
Sunset over the pond
Mayan temple at sunset.
Mayan temple at sunset.
Estoy in Mexico!
Estoy in Mexico!
The South Park people show up at the Contemporary Resort
The South Park people show up at the Contemporary Resort

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Inside Grand Floridian
Inside Grand Floridian
Gingerbread house at Grand Floridian
Gingerbread house at Grand Floridian

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Big ass fake tree
Big ass fake tree
Norway! oops - arrendale.
Norway! oops – arrendale.
Italy likes x-mass
Italy likes x-mass
Bambi I think
Bambi I think
Epcot ball again
Epcot ball again
Why can't my City Hall look like this?
Why can’t my City Hall look like this?
Main street decorations
Main street decorations
T- Rex! Sorry Ken Hamm, evolution is real.
T- Rex! Sorry Ken Hamm, evolution is real.
Going up Big Thunder Mountain
Going up Big Thunder Mountain
Inside Beast's Castle
Inside Beast’s Castle
The white rabbit
The white rabbit
whee!
whee!
From the new Mine train ride
From the new Mine train ride
Prince Charming's Castle
Prince Charming’s Castle
Tower of Terror!
Tower of Terror!
photoshopped Tower of Terror
photoshopped Tower of Terror
Bow to the king of kings, Mickey!
Bow to the king of kings, Mickey!
Angie and a big ass tree
Angie and a big ass tree
Castle Party
Castle Party
Balls and Palm Trees
Balls and Palm Trees
Epcot has big balls.
Epcot has big balls.
The glowing sidewalk at Epcot
The glowing sidewalk at Epcot
Epcot Fountains
Epcot Fountains
Kaylee likes Chef's de France
Kaylee likes Chef’s de France
Sunset over the Swan
Sunset over the Swan
Jes has a friend with a plane...
Jes has a friend with a plane…