As God intended it.

Its a scary expression: “Prayer in School”.

The first amendment guarantees that government won’t pick and choose a particular religion above others. It’s meant to protect the public from the government choosing a religion that they may not like. Its also meant to protect those who would chose a different religion, or none at all.

Oh it’s all well and good when the government chooses the majority religion. Christians make up like 80% of this country. If the Government (state or federal) came on TV tomorrow and said, we’re choosing Christianity as the nation’s religion and tomorrow every school day will start and end with a prayer.

There would be a small backlash from the unfaithful, but I’m doubtful there would be riots in the streets.

Now – imagine if the government said, “Okay the religion we were choosing is Islam, and tomorrow school will start and end with reading from the Koran, and the children will bow to the east before lunch”. I can almost guarantee many kids would stay home from school, angry suburban moms would flood the parking lots with their giant SUVs and the police would be called to deal with angry hordes and mass parking issues.

It doesn’t feel good when it’s not YOUR choice, then, does it?



Imagine my concern when I saw a poster on one of my local stores that is encouraging people to come out and “Rally for a return of Christian Prayer to our public schools”. Look, I’m cool with someone having religion at home, or on Sunday, or Saturday, or whenever. But it is not the government’s responsibility to choose one religion over another, nor is it their job to pick WHICH religion and force it on students. That’s mom and dad’s job.

They say they want prayer brought back into school because of a steady moral decline. I blame some of the moral decline on the church. Example:

You can’t teach sex education in my state. Oh sure, you can teach reproduction, with it’s zygotes and ovum and sperm, and the development of the fetus and the parts of the body. You could teach it with zebras for all the information about human reproduction they get. Its the same process. Two animals do it, and a baby gets born later.

But that’s not SEX education. They still split the boys and girls up and talk about their body parts and the changes of puberty. Thats human development, not SEX education. Knowing all about growing hair on your naughty bits and having to shave doesn’t help a teenager figure out what to do when he’s in the back seat of a car firmly on third base, heading towards home.

So we have pregnant teens in our schools, why? Because of the church. If the religious folk would relax a little and figure out that you can tell a kid all you want “abstinence is the best answer, no sex until marriage”, that given the chance a percentage of them WILL be bumping uglies before they put on those wedding bands, maybe you could give them a chance at growing up without a baby in the way. Telling kids “Look, the best thing to do is wait, but if you don’t, these are the options available to prevent pregnancy,” is a smart thing to do, but no, the church won’t let us. If a kid does get pregnant, abortion is right out, because of the stigma put on it by the church, not to mention the band of crazies out in front of the clinics hell-bent on forcing their views on any woman coming in the door, and maybe taking potshots at doctors once in a while.

Because of all these worries, I sent an email to the people holding the rally, and the response was really less than I was hoping for. Worried that they would sniff me out as a trouble-maker, I had to disguise my motives (my apologies to the pastafarians) with some clever believer’s language:


Hello, my name is Steve and I live in X County. I saw your flyer in a store and have a few questions. I won’t be able to attend the rally as I will be out of town, but the idea of returning prayer to school is intriguing, and I would like to know a little bit more about what your ideas are for prayer in schools. In particular:

Everyone pretty much agrees that children and teachers can pray on their own, and students can have their own religious-based clubs. But, you may be fighting a losing battle when it comes to school-lead prayer. Who do you see leading the prayers? Will it be a teacher? Will it be something over the announcements by the principal, for example? Will a religious leader come into the school to do the prayers for the school? How are you going to get around the “separation of church and state” that will surely be brought up?

Will the prayers be something the children bow their heads and listen to, or will they be reciting prayers as well, as a group?

What about children or parents that object, like children who say they are atheists or wiccans or something else? Will they be expected to join the group, will they have to go in the hall or just keep quiet while the rest of the kids enjoy their prayer time? Will they be forced to participate? Will there be bible-based lessons, like memorizing psalms and such, or are you only suggesting prayers at the beginning and end of the day, and at lunch?

What about other religions? Once you open the door to Christian prayers in school, everyone is going to want a turn. What about the Muslims? How are you going to keep to Koran out of our public schools, or things like Odin-worship, Wiccans, Satanists, or that farcical “flying Spaghetti Monster” mess? How are you going to make sure its ONLY Christian prayer?

I look forward to hearing from you!
Have a blessed day.


Their response? This:

Thank you very much in your interest and concerns regarding putting prayer back into our schools. I am doing what was placed in my spirit by God. God is the leader of this battle and through him all things are possible. No matter what name he is called by any religion, he’s still God. He can do all things. This battle is not mine, it’s God’s.
Be blessed.
So, if you live in South Carolina, I encourage you to email these guys and ask them exactly what their plan is. I would like to know, because apparently they either don’t want to reveal it, or they haven’t thought it out. Either one is kind of scary.
I honestly don’t think they are going to get anywhere with this, but its South Carolina, so who knows. We seceded once before, we’re a pretty rebellious and stubborn bunch.




Tales from the car line

A friend of mine recently was wailing and gnashing his teeth over being stuck in the car line at his child’s school, and made the mistake of saying “If these people would think, they could all move up closer together and we could fit 6 more cars in here”.

Of course, we all blasted him, because such a move would require logic, rational thought, and sound reasoning. And of course, the one place outside of church that logic and reasoning almost always fail, is a school car pickup line.

Take for instance a school a bit closer to where I live. The school itself is back in a neighborhood, and the car line winds its way through some side streets to a main road. When the line backs up to the main road the people in line want to just sit and wait, in the road. A two-lane road which is the only way out of the part of town to the surrounding community. On the first day of school cars backed up for blocks, and even interfered with a traffic light.

Again, logic and reason, right out the window. Because sitting in the road for twenty minutes with your blinker on makes absolutely perfect sense (said no sane driver ever). Part of the problem seems to be the fact that there is evidently some sort of reward for being at the school first. There are crowds of parents that would sit outside my relative’s house for hours. Not kidding. The cars would line up every day about noon, people would sit in their cars, and even bring those portable folding chairs you see at outdoor concerts and parades and at the beach. They would park their cars at the beginning of the line and wait until 2:30 when the children would be released from school.

Of course, this created a problem in the neighborhood what with driveways and mailboxes being blocked, and finally the cops had to be brought in to evaluate what could be done. After much investigating and deliberating and planning (cops being a government occupation after all) they had to finally tell the car line parade, “Look dumbasses, don’t show up before 2:15”. Problem solved.

When I was a child we carpooled. Of course, you can’t do that now. More mothers have jobs (yay for not mooching off dad), so they can’t be part of the carpool brigade. Also, if the ads on TV are any indication, there is an army of lawyers ready to come after you if you get in a wreck while transporting your neighbor’s “precious darling”. Sure, you’re friends NOW, but get in an accident and suddenly they see a trip to Hawaii or a new swimming pool and now they’re “emotionally devastated” and “can’t let Johnny out of their sight any more”. Pigs… And of course, a lot of parents are just too good for the bus. The pervasive attitude is that only the poor kids ride the bus home. So if your school has 400 car-riding kids, there are going to be 400 cars in line, most of them giant five or seven-passenger SUVs with one kid climbing in and out every day.

Most parents with any sense (remember we are talking car line parents…so this is a small percentage) have figured out if they don’t try to come first, there’s NO LINE. School lets out from 2:30 to 3:00? Arrive at 2:59. You drive right through, faster than McDonalds and without the moron asking you questions through the speaker.

Why all the rush to be first? Why the sitting outside the school like a pedophile for hours? Why do people feel it is perfectly fine to sit in the middle of the road or abuse peoples driveways and parking lots? People are just selfish, plain and simple. The same theme runs through the Disney Facebook groups, it’s all “ME Me Me and My Family”, and screw everyone else.

Look at the news story recently. There were two assholes on a plane. Asshole number one doesn’t like airplane seats reclining. So he buys a cheap piece of plastic that locks onto the tray table in front of him. This keeps the tray in one position and prevents the seat in front of him from reclining.

On a side note – how much of an ass do you have to be to invent, sell, and market this thing? Who goes onto a plane and says, “you know, I really want to fuck with the guy in front of me, how can I disable his seat?”

So any way, Asshole 1 locks this thing on his tray and sits smugly to himself, knowing that he’s just pissed off the person in front of him because he’s so selfish. Perhaps he even handed them one of the device’s included cards which basically says, “hey, I’m a big asshole and I just disabled your seat, if you don’t like it complain to the airline”.

So Asshole 2 (the woman who’s seat was disabled) call the stewardess, who now has to settle the equivalent of a toddler argument over who gets to play with the plastic dinosaur now. The man refuses to remove the devices, so Asshole 2 throws water in his face. Perfectly acceptable in normal circumstances, but this is an airplane, and we can’t have water being thrown on airplanes.

So, Asshole 1 and 2 cause the flight to be diverted, and they are escorted off the plane. Thanks, morons. Hopefully Asshole 1 lost his seat-disabling devices in all this. I looked at the site, and it looks like the best way to handle this, is to reach to the side of the seat and snatch them damn things off and keep them. Maybe if they don’t notice, take them into the toilet and flush them into the blue beyond.

But it’s all about me me me…

I hate my lawn.

Not because it has brown spots or pine straw or weeds. I can deal with all that.
I hate my lawn because it requires so much care, for something so worthless. And by care I mean weed eating and mowing. I would cheerfully till up the entire thing, spread grass killer everywhere and put down layers of rock for a Midwestern Badlands look, but that would be expensive, I have two acres of open yard space, and a third acre that is wild and full of trees.

Take mowing, for instance. First of all, my mower is sixteen years old. Not bad for a mower. It cost me about $800 back when I bought it. It is in need of some care.
First of all, it’s loud, mainly because the end of the muffler finally rusted out and blew off with a loud “ping” sort of like after you shoot the last bullet out of an M1 Garand, and the box magazine flies out. It’s like a Harley with straight pipes now, actually it’s more like one of those cars with a fart tube muffler extension, because the end is bigger than the pipe.
So I have to wear these big ear protectors over my head when I mow grass, because I can’t get near the mower without hearing damage. Oh yeah, the mower was $800, remember? A new muffler is $150. How can a new muffler be 1/6 the price of the whole thing?

Then there’s the blade engagement thing. The blades are engaged by a lever connected to a cable, much like a bicycle brake cable. It worked well for the first six years, then began rusting and breaking every other year afterward. A new cable assembly? $85 plus tax and shipping. So now I have a piece of paracord in a plastic sleeve running under the seat looped around the damn lever, which has worked longer than the original part.

Then there’s the “safety feature” designed to prevent you from hurting yourself. When you fall off the mower, there is a switch under the seat which activates a solenoid on the bottom of the carburetor, cutting off the fuel. It’s old and sticks, so sometimes it doesn’t activate when I try and start the beastly machine. Then I get to unscrew it and get gasoline all over my arm while I try to get it unstuck. I need a guy with a lathe so I can turn down a regular bolt and put a point on it, thereby bypassing this “safety feature” that serves to make me safe only by preventing me from cutting the grass.

The weed wacker is no better. It’s new, so it doesn’t present the same problems as the mower, but it’s no fun either.
First of all, it’s usually 90 degrees or more. In order to effectively protect myself from weeds, dirt and rocks I have to wear long pants, the ear things, eye protection and hope the sweat doesn’t fill up my eye goggle things before I finish. At the end of the weed whacking event, I’m covered head to toe in grass bits, dirt, crud, and bug bits, maybe event an ant or two.
A spray of roundup would probably solve some of these problems, but round up gets expensive quickly.

So I hate my lawn.

I spend the least amount of time possible caring for it, since I don’t use it for anything. It’s only real use is holding the dirt in place so the house doesn’t wash away. Maybe if I could eat it, it would be different…

Things I’ve learned from Disney World Groups on Facebook…

My wife is a Disney World Addict. So is her mother and sister. Her sister even worked there for a time (AND met her husband there, while HE was working there). I think there needs to be a diagnosis in the DSMV for some sort of Disney-induced mental illness or something. There are a ton of groups of Facebook about it. I’ve been banned from most of them.

Why, do you ask? Well there’s several reasons. A few of them ban you for no reason at all. Some of them ban you if they hear you are members of another group. Some of them ban you if you say anything negative about Disney World (mainly because they are a travel agency shell site, and they don’t want you turning people off to going). And some of them ban you for being a normal human being. For example:

“What should I do? I just got back from two weeks at Disney World. I’m so depressed, I probably won’t get to go back for a while, what should I do?”

What should you do? My Response: “Take a xanax and get over it. It’s a theme park, there’s more to life than people in costumes and fiberglass castles”. Banned. They said I ‘didn’t understand the lifestyle’

I didn’t know being a Disney Addict was a “lifestyle”. So there’s LGBT… and D (Disney?).

DISNEY0070 (Medium)

Which brings me to the things I’ve learned being in several Disney Groups.

Gay Days – There’s evidently a Gay Pride festival of some sort in Orlando in June every year. When it’s over, a lot of people like to visit Disney World. They call it “Gay Days” (the people attending), and although Disney doesn’t sponsor it (if they did, they would probably charge extra and make it a party like they do at Haloween), they do make a good profit from it. People on the Disney Boards tend to get very vocal about it, on both sides. Gay Days is like abortions and guns to me. If it’s something your against, just don’t go that week. But don’t deny others their right to have fun. And what’s Disney supposed to do about it? Even if they wanted to stop it, they couldn’t… If I wanted to start a “shave your head bald and go to Disney on September 1st” group, it’s not like they are going to say “Oh it’s September first, we can’t have you guys coming in again with the bald heads… sorry you have to leave”. And for Thor’s sake don’t call any board admins “homophobic” when they speak out against Gay Days. Especially a former wrestler who spent his career rolling around on the floor grabbing other guys.

I really don’t understand the word “homophobic” and think it’s overused. If you just don’t like gay people, you’re not “homophobic”. You’re intolerant, sure, but that doesn’t make it a “phobia”. If someone points and says “don’t look now but this guy walking right behind you is GAY!”, resulting in your pissing yourself and fainting, now THAT’S being homophobic.

Domestic Violence Dave!
Domestic Violence Dave!

Scooters. Everyone hates scooters. Except of course, the people IN scooters. Okay, I get it, you can’t walk through the parks all day because of age or medical reasons or what have you. But it’s always a good way to start a fight. If you like adults totally spinning out of control and going back to talking like they’re in Elementary School, mention something like “Hey what’s the deal with all the fat people in scooters?” and sit back and watch the fight. The major complaint with the scooters seems to be the perception that they get to jump lines. It’s true, they do sometimes, but the widespread scooter/wheelchair abuse has been mostly stopped. Except in the bus lines. You can wait on a bus for 30 minutes in a long line, only to have a scooter granny come up at the last second with her ten family members and get in the “handicap line”. They all get on first, then the bus loads everyone who was actually in line, and there you stand, three people from the door as it drives away, leaving you in the sun for the next bus. So we drive now.

DISNEY0085 (Medium)

9 out of 10 kids at Disney World is Autistic and can’t understand they have to wait in line and need instant ride access. At least, that’s what I learned from reading the Disney Boards on Facebook. Look, I’m sorry your kid has special needs, I really am. There’s no WAY I could deal with that myself. I read these horror stories about “My kid has to have Kraft Mac and Cheese every Wednesday at 6pm, and it has to be shells, not spirals or noodles, but shells” and I’m thinking, “if that was my kid and I couldn’t find shells at WalMart that week, he would just have to freak out or starve”. There but for the grace of genetics go I… But it’s always the same with the Whiny Autism Mommy Club on the boards. Any excuse to throw out “MY Kid has Autism and…” I’m just sort of tired of it. The biggest complaint seems to be that they changed the former Golden Ticket card for people with disabilities, to something a little more fair called the DAS (Disability Access Service – NOT Disney’s Autism Service) card. Basically it’s a FastPass type thing – you go to the ride, the wait is 45 minutes, they write 45 minutes on the card, and initial it, and then you go do something else. When your time has passed you go back and they dump you in the fast pass line. Simple, easy, and fair. Unless you want to complain that “MY kid doesn’t understand waiting!” Well, you know what, I took a 3 year old to Disney, SHE didn’t understand waiting either, and yelled and screamed and cried. We admitted that maybe Disney World wasn’t the place for her that year…

DISNEY0244 (Medium)

If there’s dust on the baseboards, you deserve a free upgrade to Grand Floridian, and a full refund for your entire trip. Seriously, these people are among some of the greediest and most petty people on the planet. There seems to be some sort of general idea out there that Disney World must make everything magical all the time for everyone, and if they don’t then everything should be free. Hotel Rooms are the biggest complaint, it seems. “My sheets were dirty”, or “there was a wet washcloth in the bathroom”, or “there was something in the trash can with BLOOD on it!”

Okay, I get it, you’re grossed out. You know what rational, reasonable people do in these situations? They call the front desk and have housekeeping come by and fix the problem. Thats it. At the least they change the sheet or pick up the wet washcloth, at the MOST they move you next door to another room. You don’t get vacation refunds and moved to a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RESORT. That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. “Well I was staying in the campground and there was half a hotdog where I wanted to put my tent so I demanded an upgrade to a deluxe resort”. Seriously? You need your head examined, cheapskate.

Tipping. Next to scooters, tipping seems to be a HUGE deal. At least, its a way to start HUGE fights. I’ve never, in my LIFE tipped housekeeping. I’ve never heard of it. Apparently, according to these Disney Board people, if you don’t tip at least $5 a day for “mousekeeping” (yes, that’s a word) then you are a cheap ass and need to stay home. Seriously. I hate tipping. Why should i directly supplement a business’ lousy payroll practices from my own pocket? I say abolish tipping and pay people correctly. Everyone has their damn hands out all the time. People ask “do I tip the bus drivers?” and “How much do I tip the waitresses? My family’s meal was $200, $40 seems like a lot for a tip…” and “Do you tip the people that check you in?”

Look, let’s make it easy for everyone. Only tip the waitresses, and its 10-15% at a buffet, and 18-20% at a sit-down place. Just like EVERYWHERE ELSE in the country. If you have to ask, either it’s not customary, or you just want to be cheap and get out of it.

DISNEY0176 (Medium)

No swearing, because everyone’s five year old is looking over their shoulder. Look, swearing happens. If you don’t want your five year old seeing an Adult word, then follow FACEBOOK’s own rules, and keep them off of it. Facebook is for 14 and older, and by the time they’re 14, they should have heard pretty much every adult word there is, unless they are home schooled, and I’m not even going to START on those people… that’s a whole new post.

And evidently, don’t say God Damn in an Adult blog post for Adults… there are some religious nutters out there.


Okay, we get it, school is back in session.

Yes, we know school is back in session. How do we know? Well for one the overactive mommy club is making sure we all know. From the ever present “Its Alycesaundra’s first day of fourth grade!” posts, to the pictures of the kid standing by her book bag, we all know who’s going to school and when, and even what they will be wearing.

Of course, we should expect nothing less. After all, These days everything is an accomplishment. There’s the Baby Shower, which may be preceded or followed by the Gender Reveal Party, the Potty Party for newly housebroken children, and of course Kindergarten Graduation (I assume because some kids won’t ever make it to high school or college graduation, so we have to graduate from everything  just to give parents a good feeling). Of COURSE the first day of school is a special occasion, and we should celebrate. I’m surprised there isn’t a party the week before. I hate to give the one-upmanship club a new idea, but I’m sure they’re already thinking of it.

The Saturday before school, all the kids could gather together and compare notebooks or something, and sit around and look at each other’s summer vacation pictures and compare where they went, while cutting a cake shaped like a stack of textbooks or a book bag or some such nonsense.

Of course then there would have to be a school’s out party – maybe a cake shaped like the sun and beach towels or even the school, with teachers waving goodbye. I’m not sure what Frued would say about eating your school and teachers… Actually thats probably not a good idea. The way schools today think, cutting up a school with a cake knife, and eating the teachers would probably be seen as a threat, and the police would have to investigate, and anyone who had a second slice would definitely have to be expelled.

But then there’s the inevitable comparison of what people had to buy for kids. In addition to the photos and complaints and The Most Wonderful Time of the Year posts, there’s always the whining about school supplies. I picked up the following list from WalMart just as an example. Some of the parents were complaining loudly about this stuff… I’m not making this up.


Book Bag. That’s mandatory. Seems like a parent’s choice but okay.

96 pencils and 48 crayons. PER kid. That seems like a crapload of pencils. And that’s at the beginning of school. I can see a trend here already. There is going to be a big box of pencils in the classroom, and the kids that bring nothing will get to use the “community” pencils, which one or two moms paid for. I think I would get a gross of pencils with my kid’s name on them, but that’s just me.

2 Packs of dry erase markers? Sounds like something the teacher should be buying. I seriously doubt the kids are going to do that many lectures in the second grade.

1 red plastic 2 prong three clasp folder. The one no one in town will have, which will require going to seven stores and finally throwing up the arms in exhaustion and saying, “damn it, orange is CLOSE THE HELL ENOUGH!” No kid ever got expelled for bringing the wrong color folder to school.

6 glue sticks. 6. Are they building a bomb shelter at this school? Again, the ten percent of the class that brings this stuff will just be providing supplies to the ninety percent who bring the dried-up, half a glue stick they used last year. I still think there are warehouses of old glue sticks and wipes left behind by previous generations.

Of course they want tissues, clorox and wipes. No school should be left without enough sanitary supplies to mop up a crime scene. I’ve visited schools. They have cabinets, nay, closets dedicate to wipes and tissues. Enough is enough.

My favorite part is the wish list. I want a silent poll of all the parents out there. If your kid already bought enough pencils and crayons to write and illustrate War and Peace, as well as medical supplies for a small clinic, are you going to run out and purchase Plastic Bowls, Bags of Candy, and Computer paper (any color). I think I would buy the computer paper. My wife has this really nice stuff with clouds and a sunset on it. I could frame it and tell people it was a beach photo.

At the end of school next year I’m giving the teacher a list of my own.

Things to do before the end of school:

Inventory all the stuff I sent. Make sure you return any unused wipes, tissues, etc. that was brought by my child. She didn’t glue that much. I want to know where the other 5 and a half glue sticks went.

Clean out my child’s book bag. I’m not one of those Hoarder parents thats needs to save every scrap of paper. Unless it’s a report card, standardized test score, or some sort of negotiable instrument, throw that crap in the trash.

See that my child throws out the last lunch of the year. Nothing is a scary as opening that lunchbox in late August only to find the half an apple and crusts from the peanut butter sandwich from June have somehow combined to create a new life form.

Summer reading: Pick one book. Its summer. She’s going to read what she wants to read. What kind of bitch gives homework over the summer? Much less five books, of which the library will only have two copies. So when school is a week from starting and every kid in the county remembers they have to read “to kill a mockingbird”, there’s going to be a fight at the checkout desk the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Cabbage Patch and Tickle Me Elmo doll scares of the 80s and 90s. Make sure that shit is available on Kindle.



God Loves Gays! Maybe. Who knows…

Okay so here’s the deal. I don’t always use this site to spread political messages, but I do use it to spread my particular point of view. And that goes along with this…

I don’t know what God loves and what he hates. Neither does anyone else. Ever since the invention of video cameras, biblical-type miracles sort of stopped. No more burning bushes, no voices from the sky, no magically carved tablets or golden plates and seer stones. None of that. Nothing that can be definitive or testable or observable. We can’t even get a decent recording of Bigfoot, much less the Almighty Creator of the Universe (if he even exists. God, not Bigfoot, we know bigfoot is real). I say if God (or Allah, or Thor, or whatever you bend a knee to) wants us to do something, He should just announce it from the heavens. “Hey, you idiots down there, Why don’t you do _________ and everything will turn out right.”

Nope, someone has to interpret for him. The only problem is, the majority religion in my country is Christianity, and the their Bible is so full of contradictions and hypocrisy that, when one reads different parts, it says different things. Then, of course, there is the old testament and the new testament. Christians really like to ignore the Old Testament (the parts about stoning women to death if they aren’t virgins and how someone should treat their slaves are a bit awkward today), but since Jesus was Jewish, those are the laws he was raised to follow. You just don’t get to throw out the parts you don’t like. So, much like statistics, you can really interpret the bible to say anything you want. For example: yes, the bible does say a couple of negative things about gay people. A couple, literally two admonishments (neither by Jesus himself), whereas there are dozens of things it says about straight sex that no one wants to talk about.

“I have a feeling the Bible is a lot like a license agreement. People just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’, and don’t bother to read the whole thing” (I think Bill Maher said that).

So, these jack holes at the Westboro Baptist Church (arguably one of the most hated churches, anywhere), say that “God Hates Fags” and protest at funerals (oddly enough ANY funeral is a good protest reason, the dead person doesn’t have to be gay), because supposedly God is angry at America for allowing gays to marry and presumably for some other reasons like Dish Network dropping CBS and the results of the Super Bowl or whatever.

This is why this is such a great thing to donate to:

20140504014245-godlovesgays_bumpersrticker_FINALI really like that God looks like something from South Park, hiding behind the clouds.

Not only does this sound like a worthy cause, spreading love where one group wants to spread hate, but it will really rankle those freaks at the Westboro Baptist Church. Just like the guy that bought the house across the street and turned it into a rainbow-painted LBGT diversity center or something, this should help let them know that their message of hate is not universally accepted.

I don’t want to compare the LGBT movement to the Civil Rights movement of the 50s and 60s, they are totally different things, with some slight parallels. However, one can only hope that fifty years from now, our children and grandchildren will look back on our time and say, “Wow, I can’t believe the way people were treated because of their sexual orientation”, just like we look back at our parents’ or grandparents’ time and say “Wow, I can’t believe how awful people were treated just because of their skin color.”

Actually, it would be nice if 50 or 100 years from now, people would be forgoing religion entirely, preferring to look at the world and seek the truth from a scientific point of view. I don’t see that happening until we find life on some other planets, or the Vulcans come to visit or something. Until then, we are still a primitive group of primates, alone in the universe. The night is long and full of terrors, and when things go bump in the night, it is a nice feeling for some to think that there’s an all powerful being out there looking out for us.


School is back! And so are the lunch Nazis.



A friend of mine sent me the above notice she got from her local High School when she registered her kids. Most of it makes sense. Except for parts 2 and 3.

Food and Drink items purchased from Fast Food Places and Convenience Stores are not to be brought onto campus from the parking lot. That I guess is okay, eat in the parking lot. Students leave and go back and forth to a vocational school type thing, and some of them pick up lunch on the way back.

Part three really irks me. Food and Drink Items (i.e. lunch from a fast food restaurant) may not be delivered to a student during the school day. Jimmy forgot lunch? Uh-Oh! I’ll run by Arby’s and grab him a sandwich and some curly fries. Not in this county!

I remember being at schools a few years ago, and seeing parents come in to eat with their children. Mom or dad would bring in a sack of something delicious, instead of institutional crap that most school have to serve. The kid would be the envy of the class. Not only is Dad eating with the kid, but they’re having delicious yet not so good-for-you food.

And I think that’s the problem. Schools are being forced to hand out more healthy food now. No more friend chicken and greasy foods, more healthy alternatives, which the kids all hate and the staff struggles to make tasty. The kids hate the new menu, the staff hates it, Bobby Flay couldn’t make a quality meal within the guidelines of what they have to work with, and now the school has to play big brother with what parents send to school.

I remember seeing an article somewhere on the internet a few years ago. A woman sent chicken nuggets to school with her child. Who hasn’t had chicken nuggets, right? The school sees them, and takes them away. “Those fall outside our nutritional guidelines”, and they make the kid purchase a lunch from the school.

Excuse me, but your “nutritional guidelines” don’t apply to the one time in a month some parent sends their kid to school with an outside meal. I probably would have gone to jail, because I would have been up at that school screaming at someone.

So watch out parents, on top of all the pens, pencils, wipes, hand sanitizer, dry erase markers, mop heads, paper towels, toilet paper, and desks you have to send with your child as part of their “school supply list”, make sure you pick up a copy of the accepted school menu wherever you send your kids.