I really expected the Elf on the Shelf would be more of a meth head than a coke addict. But hey, it’s Christmas, any crutch will do! Xanax, alcohol, Prozac, coke, weed…
22 days and it will be over. Then it’s just cold as shit for two months.
Since Christmas is just a day picked at random so early Christians wouldn’t be murdered by the Romans, why can’t we move it?
No, silly, Christmas is not Jesus’ birthday. Much like when your birthday falls on Wednesday but you go out on Saturday… Jesus was born in the Spring, closer to Easter. That’s why Joseph and God’s Baby Momma found themselves in the middle of nowhere giving birth. They were traveling to get counted for the census, which happened in the spring.
So why can’t we move it?
Give the end of January something to do… Hell, mix it with valentine’s day so we only have to buy one gift. But the end of winter would be that much closer.
Not that December 25th needs go uncelebrated. We could bring back Yule, the festival of the winter solstice. A week off around Dec 21 would do everyone some good. No presents allowed!