Everyone ready for Slutoween?

While I’m all for a slinky costume here and there, it seems like Halloween has morphed from an excuse for the kids to dress up and get free candy, into an excuse for adults to dress sleazy without consequences. It’s a night to let out the inner slut.

See, people complain left and right about X-Mass being too commercial, that “Jesus is the reason for the season”. The same hypocrites will stand in line for seven hours at WalMart on Thanksgiving afternoon, just to get a TV. I don’t think Jesus meant for you to abandon your family on the one day a year when there are no presents required – just eating turkey and watching football.

I feel sort of the same way about Halloween. Whatever happened to the ghosts and goblins and scary stuff (and no, those “Hell House” alternatives are not what I’m talking about – being scared by make believe stuff is fun, convincing kids that the make believe stuff is real is just mental abuse)? Not every demon costume should show more ass than not… And yes, I know not all witches are hags but why not scare it up a bit? A black bikini, some fishnet, a wand and a hat is not necessarily a witch costume.

Show the season some respect. It’s about the old gods, nature spirits, things that go bump in the night, not to mention – the fear that the nights are longer and if the harvest sucked that there’s a chance some of your family might starve to death before spring.

So while on October 31, “Demons are the reason for the season” (yeah I know demons are no more real than elves… But they are fun), how about take a minute to think about the ghouls and ghosts and frights that make it so frightfully entertaining.

Then put on your slutware and prance around the neighborhood pushing the stroller, knowing you’ve at least given the old gods some thought, and the reason for the season isn’t totally lost on you.

And take 30% of your kid’s candy, because nothing readies them for the real world like learning about the horrors of taxation.

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Author: theosus1

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