I heard there is some violence in Egypt over something… Probably some Muslim woman took off her burka and they decided to destroy the whole country over it. Also there’s some violence in Syria. I’m not sure where Syria is or why there is violence, I don’t really care, either, as long as the world doesn’t look to the good old USA to come in and be the damn World Police and sort it all out, spending our money and getting our guys killed.
Then there are some fires in Yellowstone, so Yogi Bear is in danger, and some rich people are probably going to get new mansions somewhere far from places where there are wildfires.
But the big news everyone was talking about? Miley Cyrus’ ass on stage…
Now I’m all for ass on stage at an MTV award show. After all, that’s what MTV is known for. People have been complaining about MTV since it went on the air. They even used to have Music Videos on the network, some videos encouraging drug use or wild behavior, all showing scantily clad women.
But what’s the big deal? Okay, I get that Miley Cyrus was once Disney’s Hannah Montana. Everyone is surprised that the sweet innocent child of a flash-in-the-pan one hit wonder like Billy Ray Cyrus could become such a wild thug-loving skank.
Here’s the thing… I don’t know who said it, but a famous person said that child stars like Miley Cyrus and Justin Beaver (beeber, beiber…you know that douchebag I’m talking about) get stuck mentally at the age they get famous. So there’s a reason she’s throwing her ass around and wanting attention, and wanting to shock people. Miley never developed the self control that normal people get from learning from bad decisions. Just look at Justin – having his bodyguard punch out any cameraman that comes close. And we don’t even need to bring up Michael Jackson’s level of crazy.
But seriously, the world can’t find anything better to talk about than some has-been former child star gone nuts?
We all need to publicly apologize to the Will Smith family, that we allowed this to happen, because apparently they were shocked. Sorry Will, but in a few years Jaden will be doing some weird shit, too. Keep him off the screen until he’s at least eighteen.
But really, for anyone that remembers seeing “Hot for Teacher” or “California Girls”, or a Whitesnake video, or any rap video ever made… this was a serious non event. Just another skank on a stage. So before you overachieving trophy wives (or bored unemployed conservative trailer moms) start campaigns and threaten to boycott networks and products, remember: It’s MTV, shit like this goes on. It’s just an ass in a bikini sort-of-thing. And if you don’t like this dancing, DON’T go to your kid’s prom, because this is how they all dance now.
Now that this flash-in-the-pan is over, maybe we can get back to Syrian Rebels. Maybe they will destroy the Empire before the Death Star is finished…