The Happiest Place on Earth!

No, it’s not the “Chicken Ranch”. They closed that. I’m Talking about Disney World. My wife and I found a new and ultimately awesome Thanksgiving Tradition. Screw the bird, the cooking, the cleaning, the having people over, and pretty much everything that goes with the kickoff to the X-Mass season (the shopping…)

This year we decided “F all that nonsense…We’re going to Disney World!”

I would like to say I have recovered, and all is well, but I have not. I have been playing catch-up so badly at work I have not even had time to write a decent blog entry. As a student of the human condition (a sociology major), I am always interested in people. As much as I like the rides and sights and food (oh God the food…), I like people watching. I am amazed we have come as far as we have, what with some of the silly things we do. Despite our internet and iPhones and opposable thumbs, we really haven’t evolved very far from our distant ancestors which first poked a stick in an anthill to get lunch.

Which is why Disney World is always a ripe ground for watching the wierd and crazy things that we people do.

I present, Disney Facts:

Disney Facts: 10. Some lines do not lead to rides, just pictures with characters. When they have to come out an announce that, it generally means some idiot was not aware of this, and was disappointed Tinkerbell does not have a roller coaster.

Disney Facts: 9. When you are having a domestic dispute with your wife, take off the hat with the Mickey/Goofy/Pluto ears. It’s hard to look serious yelling at anyone with one of those hats on.

Disney facts: 8. No matter how hot you try to look while you dance at Stitch’s Dance Party, you’re still dancing with Goofy, Pluto and Stitch.

Disney facts: 7. Seriously, your full-sized iPad is your camera? You couldn’t get something a LITTLE smaller? You had to bring that thing and hold it up in front of everyone trying to see?

Disney facts: 6. Just because you are up raring to go at 6am, doesn’t mean everyone else is. Please be quiet and control your hyper children, unless you want me to practice my ‘squatch calls outside your room at 3am.

Disney Facts: 5. You may be the biggest baddest guy in your neighborhood, town, etc., but here you’re just another face in the crowd. We are all equal here, get used to it. You have no “Street Cred”, even in “New Fantasy Land”.

Disney facts: 4. When people rudely crowd up behind you, having a bad case of gas is like the universe saying “back off, jerk”. Thank you, greasy Disney food, thank you.

Disney Facts: 3. Family Restrooms are available, so you don’t have to share a bathroom with a bunch of creepy weirdos. Plus, making the stroller rollers wait on you to come out is a treat after you get hit in the ankles three times.

Disney facts: 2. Wearing tights as pants, with nothing else over them, makes you look really skanky.

Disney facts: 1. Parents will bring their kids hundreds or thousands of miles so the kids can sit on a bench and text their friends back home.

Pictures to come. All together we took 850 of them. It’s hard to pick the ones to inflict on my loyal readers.