You may be asking yourself, What the Heck is that bit o’ plastic sticking out of the Cheez-It?
I found myself asking that very same question. It’s not often you find yourself looking at a bit of foreign matter in your food. Yes, we all know the government has certain allowable limits of bug parts and rat poo. In fact, they are to be expected. Have you ever picked a wild blackberry and eaten it right off the plant? Ever pick a LOT of them and put them in a bag? Look what crawls around after a few minutes and you would be surprised. You can soak fresh berries in water in the fridge for two days, those damn bugs will stay alive.
But man-made bits are few and far between. So, when my wife bought a box of Big Cheez-Its, and my daughter set down with them to play WarCraft and munch on the fine orange goodness, she was quite shocked to find that one particular cracker came with built-in dental floss.
My wife’s first instinct was to put it on FaceBook. Having been privy to certain other events where nastiness has found its way into food items, I said “no – lets give the company a chance to offer up some hush money”. After all, food companies paying big bucks to keep this sort of thing out of the public eye is normal.I would have settled for twenty bucks. I’m cheap and easy…
So, I emailed Kellogg, and explained I was disappointed that I found what looked like part of an ingredient bag or some other pull-tab baked into a cracker. Three days later I got a phone call. The nice man on the phone asked some pointed questions (which he cheerfully admitted were being recorded). Of course, the main points were – did anyone get hurt? did anyone get sick? No and No, respectively. He informed me they would send a collection kit to me, they wanted the chip and the box labeling. My daughter asked me “how much money are we getting?” I told her that despite my hints, hush money did not appear to be forthcoming.
Three weeks later I received my Collection Kit, dutifully packaged up the evidence, and shipped it off to the Kellogg Food Error Incinerator Company, and found that I did in fact receive a reward for my efforts.
Two coupons for free boxes of Cheez-Its. So much for hush money. I told my wife to go out and get those boxes ASAP. Maybe we’ll find a migrant worker’s finger in them or something.